What is the Change Triangle?

Written by: Danilio Taloma

What is the Change Triangle?

“People who have access to their core emotions have more vitality and energy for living because, by allowing emotions to occur, they are streamlining the neurobiological processes of energy efficiency and brain integration.” This is a quote taken directly from Hilary Jacobs Hendel, the author of It’s Not Always Depression. Hendel points to the idea that when we come into intimate contact with our core emotions— that is to say, when we stay present with and aware of an emotional experience— we can return to a fundamental state of homeostasis in which our biology is in balance and a healthy mind and body becomes more available.

Hendel shares a pragmatic framework for this process of working through emotions deemed the Change Triangle, which comes on the heels of Diana Fosha’s work on accelerated experiential dynamic psychotherapy (AEDP). The Change Triangle is a tool that helps us know our emotions and process them by working through three primary stages/corners: Defenses, inhibitory emotions, and core emotions (Hendel). When used appropriately, this tool can guide an individual from a distressed state to a calm and clear one. The goal of the Change Triangle is to help us understand what stage of emotional processing we are at in the present moment and to allow ourselves to access core emotions to live more authentically.

Defenses

Anything we do to avoid our emotions is a defense. This is our mind’s way of protecting ourselves from harm or overwhelming feelings. Defenses can be ingrained patterns we have developed in our past, especially from childhood experiences. For example, you may have learned at some point during your childhood that it was not okay to be angry with authority figures, so you learned to suppress your frustration and avoid confrontation, putting your anger aside for the sake of pleasing others. Defenses can also show up in everyday living in forms like excessive internet use, overworking, procrastination, criticism, perfectionism, and more.

Inhibitory Emotions

Inhibitory emotions are the red lights that send a STOP signal to our minds to block core emotions because they may be too overwhelming to handle. These inhibitory emotions come in the form of shame, anxiety, and guilt. In the previous example, we explored how one could learn to avoid emotions due to their being unacceptable. Even if we notice our defenses, we may still struggle with getting past these experiences of inhibitory emotions. For example, let's say you need to tell your boss that you cannot take on a new project. The core emotional experience is anger— you feel angry that you are overworked. But before speaking, you experience intense anxiety, a dry mouth, and a racing heart. This anxiety prevents you from feeling the anger directly and, instead, you might act nervously or fail to communicate your boundaries, using a defense like smiling or apologizing.

Core Emotions

Core emotions are “our inborn survival emotions” that reveal our wants and needs. They inform our adaptive ways of living in the world by helping us assess for safety and desires. We all have 7 core emotions: anger, sadness, fear, disgust, joy, excitement, and sexual excitement. Emotions are natural experiences, meaning they cannot be controlled, and we cannot prevent the reactions they cause in our mind and body (Hendel). For example, imagine you were about to be attacked. The core emotion that arises is fear, which your body naturally responds to by running away without you thinking. Core emotions come and go depending on what our “emotional brain senses in the environment” (Hendel).

Openhearted State of the Authentic Self

“The authentic Self’s natural state, when it is not obscured by trauma or overtaken by emotions, is the openhearted state” (Hendel). By moving past our defenses and inhibitory emotions into the experience of core emotions, we allow ourselves to access this openhearted state where there is no longer any stuck emotional energy and access to one’s true Self. The openhearted state is defined by specific experiences of what is referred to as the 7 C’s: calm, curious, connected, compassionate, confident, courageous, and clear. This state is where we often lean into our values and discover what is truly important to us. It is only by accessing our authentic emotional experiences that we can achieve this state of clarity.

This was a brief overview of the Change Triangle and its different processes. If you are a client looking for a deeper understanding of which stage you are at in the Change Triangle and want to create new, healthier patterns of emotional processing that allow you to live in the openhearted state more frequently, I encourage you to sit with any clinician at Healing With Grace to begin your journey!

References:

Jacobs Hendel, Hilary. It's Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self. Random House, 2018.