Giving Yourself Grace from a Neurosequential Perspective

Written by: Jericho Samatra

While in the womb, the human brain is developed in a 4-layer specific order. The first layer of

our brain to be developed is our brainstem. This is our most primitive part of our brain, and the

functions of the brainstem are automatic bodily functions that we do not have to think about.

For example, the brainstem controls functions such as controlling our body temperature, making sure we are breathing, and pumping blood across our system.

The next layer of our brain that is developed is our diencephalon. The diencephalon regulates

functions such as sleep, appetite, movement, and arousal. In addition, the structural and

functional complexity increases from the lower, simpler areas of the brainstem up to the newest

part of our brain (the cortex - which will be discussed shortly).

The third layer of the brain that is developed is the limbic. The limbic system of our brain

controls functions such as reward, memory, bonding and emotions. This is where our brain

primarily works on things such as being in relation with others and staying connected with those who we are close with.

The last and newest layer of our brain that is developed is our cortex. The cortex mediates the

most uniquely “human” functions such as speech, language, creativity, thinking, and the

capacity to reflect on the past and envision the future.

During times in which a person is dysregulated, their limbic and cortex system are not fully

activated. This means that during times of stress, the limbic and cortex system are not fully

connected to the diencephalon and brainstem. So because the limbic and cortex system are not fully activated when someone is under stress, functions such as thinking or staying in

relationship with someone are not going to be easily accessible. Instead, people go into their

fight, flight, freeze, or fawning (people-pleasing) behaviors, and these survivalistic behaviors are found in the brainstem and diencephalon.

So in times of stress in which we may have regretted what we’ve done, what we thought of, or

who we hurt, it may not necessarily mean that those incidents represent who we are as a

person, but our brain undergoing a natural process in which “human” functions are not easily

accessible. This does not rid of of any wrong that we may have done, but it provides us room

and space for growth and importantly grace, since it is insight on how difficult “human” functions can be at times.