Holiday Anxiety: How to Stay Grounded When Everything Gets Loud

Written By: Bethany Hickey

The holidays bring lights, traditions and times of connection. The holidays can also bring noise, pressure, and big feelings that we do not always expect. If you notice the anxiety rising this time of year you are not alone. Many people feel the pressure when the holidays come.

Many people describe the holidays as a season where everything feels louder. The louder feeling may come from family expectations, stress, travel, gatherings, disrupted routines, or memories that come back without warning.

The good news is there are strategies that may help you move through the season with steadiness, clarity and self-compassion. Anxiety during the holidays is not a sign that

something is wrong with you.

Anxiety Is Your System Responding To:

• Sensory overload (noise, lights, crowds, constant activity)

• Family dynamics that feel tense or unpredictable

• Pressure to “be happy” or keep everyone else comfortable

• Disrupted routines (sleep, eating, downtime)

• Financial strain and gift expectations

• Old emotional patterns triggered by returning to childhood roles

When we put these together your nervous system may go into survival mode. The nervous system, in survival mode can look like irritability, shutdown, worry or feeling “on edge”.

Understanding Your Anxiety Through the Change Triangle

The Change Triangle, created by Hilary Jacobs Hendel helps people see what is happening beneath anxiety. The Change Triangle makes the hidden stress clear.

At the top of the Change Triangle:The defensive emotions appear when a person may feel overwhelmed or unsafe. Anxiety, guilt and shame are emotions that show up in that moment.

At the bottom:Core emotions—like sadness, anger, excitement, fear, joy, or disgust—are the real signals underneath the anxiety.

Holiday anxiety often masks:

• Anger about boundaries being crossed

• Sadness in your heart when your loved ones are not here

• Fear of conflict, judgment, or disappointment

• Confusion about what people are supposed to feel

The goal is not to eliminate anxiety. Notice anxiety and slow down so you can connect with what is actually happening inside.

Ask yourself:If anxiety had a message, what would anxiety be trying to tell me now?

When Everything Gets Loud, Here Are a Few Strategies to Calm Your Nervous System

1. Try temperature-based groundingUsing cold or warmth can bring your body back into the present moment. Hold a cold glass of water. Step outside for 30 seconds of chilly air. Hold a warm mug (tea, coffee, cocoa). Use a heating pad on your lap. Notice that the temperature shifts interrupt the spiraling thoughts and the temperature shifts make space for clarity.

2. Try the “3x3 Sensory Reset”Notice:

• 3 things you can see

• 3 things you can hear

• 3 things you can feel against your skin

3. Use breathwork that actually worksThe quickest option?Smell the flower → Blow out the candle.Inhale through your nose for 3, long exhale through your mouth for 5. Notice that this helps your body feel calm. The calm feeling stays with the body.

Gentle Reminders for the Season

Try using these anchors to keep your nervous system calm. Kindness toward yourself is a strong grounding tool you have. Kindness toward yourself helps you stay steady.

Creating a grounded holiday plan before events can make the anxiety feel less sharp. Planning ahead may reduce the anxiety before the anxiety even starts.

The holidays do not have to be perfect or even happy to be meaningful. If the holidays feel overwhelming or emotionally complicated you are not alone. Grounding strategies, emotional awareness and gentle boundaries may help you move through the holidays feeling steadier, more supported and more connected to yourself.

Holiday stress, anxiety and family dynamics can be hard. If you would like help dealing with the holiday stress, anxiety or family dynamics we’re ready to help. Reach out to schedule an appointment—you deserve to feel grounded, even when everything gets loud.