Written by: Gina Brooks
We’ve all been there. Something happens, and then you lie in bed, thinking about the scenario and the many ways you could have acted differently. The perfect retort, the bold statement, the snarky comment, or the composed response never seems to arrive at the ideal moment when you need it. Overanalyzing feels like problem-solving for a similar situation in the future, where you might be more prepared. However, things rarely unfold in the same way that allows us to predict others’ behaviors and adapt accordingly.
When it comes to worry, 85 percent of what we fret over never occurs, and most individuals claim they could manage the 15 percent when it does. The truth is, only a small fraction of our worries has a chance of happening, suggesting that most aren’t even real possibilities. So why does it seem so productive?
The Science Behind Overthinking
It helps to understand human evolution. We have evolved to be social beings. Our survival relied on this, and although humans may not face the same threats as they did thousands of years ago, we still possess that innate desire to fit in and be accepted. Exclusion resulted in lower chances of survival, and its absence felt threatening.
Additionally, people can be perceived as threats even if they aren’t. Overthinking can lead us to fill in the gaps of what is happening with a story about our boss not liking us, our coworker vying for our job, or that text left unread has a deeper meaning for our relationship. It feels like preparation to look at every angle and overanalyze it to avoid uncomfortable interactions, feel a sense of certainty, or avoid processing unwanted emotions.
What Are the Costs of Overthinking?
Worrying about an uncertain future can rob us of peace in the present moment. Thinking about a problem doesn’t mean it will stop it from happening. Hyper-focusing on it may actually make it more likely to occur, turning it into a self-fulfilling prophecy. Overanalyzing can lead to analysis paralysis, while indecision can result in missed opportunities.
Overthinking can mentally drain us and strain our cognitive abilities, leading to mistakes. Anxiety and stress can negatively affect our sleep and diminish productivity. They can cause us to misread situations, make assumptions, and create relationship problems that never existed. Persistent negative thoughts and judgments can lower self-esteem and foster self-doubt.
What Could Be Behind the Worry and Overthinking?
When we step back, we realize our worry tells us this is important and we should pay attention. We may feel that need to have certainty that we’re making the right decision. Maybe more information will help you feel confident, but it may also make you think you can’t trust yourself.
The fear of failure or rejection is based on previously painful experiences. Yet, we fail to see how those experiences shaped us and the essential lessons learned from them. A need for control may stem from feeling out of control in other aspects of life. When we focus on the tangible things within our control, we can navigate the uncertainty with adaptability.
Worry may distract us from feeling emotions that we’ve been avoiding. When you get to the root of what’s driving those feelings, you can process them and move on. Your inner critic may show you areas where you can be more self-compassionate. The overthinking may reveal a core wound that wasn’t resolved, and replaying things may give you a sense of closure that you never got. Whatever drives the overthinking can show us things we may need to heal.
What Do You Do If You Find Yourself Overthinking?
Come from a place of curiosity. What else could it mean? What am I getting out of this? What am I trying to avoid?
Label it. This is my worrying mind. It’s trying to protect me.
Practice mindfulness. When you are aware of the thoughts in the present, you can be more objective about them.
Set a worry timer for 10 minutes, then shift your focus to something else.
Redirect your thoughts. What if everything turns out ok? What if things are better than I can imagine them? Will this matter in a year from now?
Set a deadline to make a decision. Create a plan to gather information and move forward with your plan. Recognize that you can always adjust later.
Get help. Talking to a counselor can help you understand what is behind your overthinking and give you tools to calm those worried thoughts.
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